Lord of the Bowling Ball: Chapter 1
by Addikted2Bowling
Summary: A fellowship of 8 (without the guy who tries to steal the ring) tries to take an evil bowling ball to the Volcano of Mordor to cast it into the lava where it was forged. Based on "The Lord of the Rings"


Lord of the Bowling Ball  
  
Chapter 1: The Beginning  
  
It all started that day on the hill. Bilbo and I were smoking our pipes, and I made the comment of, "This is the finest weed on this side of the shire." Then, like a flash, they were on me. 12 British police officers, all armed and ready to fire, had surrounded my friend and I. I knew better than to fight them, for Bilbo may have gotten injured in the struggle, so I decided to go along with the flow.  
  
When asked what I had done wrong, the officers did not reply. I tried, though it was futile, to persuade them to let us go. Finally, I became so overwhelmed with stress that I blurted in desperation, "BOWLING! HOW ABOUT BOWLING!?" For reasons I cannot comprehend, the officers seemed to want to bowl! I, personally didn't like bowling, which I pointed out to one of them. He must have been a major bowling fan, because he took a pole, similar to those that raise the bumpers in a bowling lane, and hit me in the back of the head with it.  
  
I woke up in a relaxed daze, the world spinning as it came back into focus. The sound of...boulders hitting the ground embraced me as I lifted my head off of the cold, waxed floor. I was missing my wizard's robe as well, along with my shoes. Instead, they were replaced with a bowling shirt, black pants, and shoes that were very smooth and worn out on the soles. I called out for assistance, to no avail. The place seemed to be too loud for anyone to hear me. Finally, I saw a flash of blue uniforms. It all came back to me. The police of Britain, though doing very poorly, were bowling with me and my friend Bilbo.  
  
But also, strangely, I saw a figure in the corner, surrounded by what seemed to be friends, who looked oddly familiar. Of course, I could not make out his face, for he was covered in smoke from a rolled up piece of paper with the shire's very own weed in it. "Frodo? Frodo Baggins, is that you?" The young hobbit instantly.well, his reflexes were a little slow, but he ALMOST instantly stood up and walked over to help me get up. "Uncle Gandalf! How righteous to see you here, dude! I totally didn't see that one coming, man!" It seemed to me that something was wrong. This was not the same Frodo that I had visited those many years before. I decided to interrogate him.  
  
"Are you Frodo Baggins?" I asked. Of course I knew he would say yes, because even an idiot wouldn't actually let others know that he was an impersonator. After a short sequence of questions, I determined that he was, in fact, Frodo Baggins. There was no reason, however, for him to be acting in such a strange way. I deduced that it must have been the group around him. They must have cast a spell on him. One was named Legolas, an elf, and I wondered why he would be in this part of the world. When asked, he stated, "The best weed around, dude!" After speaking to the other members, it was uncovered that the weed, though docile in small doses, would put the user in a state most commonly known as "stoned." While I was pondering this outcome, I heard a bloodcurdling scream.  
  
I recognized the voice of my dear friend Bilbo and searched for him among the blur of people. His foot had been crushed by a bowling ball with strange markings on it. I looked around him, but the only object near him was a lighter and his pipe. "Bilbo! Bilbo, are you alright!?" He feebly sat up and muttered, "No, you idiot! My foot is broken you dense, old buffoon!" How could this have happened? What could evil spirit had possessed that bowling ball? There was only one explanation. "The ball must have been made from the Ring of Power itself. We must cast it into the volcano at Mordor." There were people who were muttering things like "senile fool" and "what a moron." "Don't you understand the seriousness or the situation?" I asked, "You must help us!"  
  
Though most were intrigued, I believe they were only interested in the mindless babble of an old wizard. I had half a mind to roast them all where they stood, but the feelings of hostility subsided. "I'll go," announced Frodo, "as will my friends." In the small group of warriors by the names of Frodo, Sam, Merry, Pippin, Aragorn, and Legolas, we began our journey.  
  
This is just the first chapter in what I hope will be a long chapter of random thoughts with a Lord of the Rings theme. This is my first FanFic, and I swear I was just pulling random stuff out and putting it in there. Please, give me any suggestions you have and BE RUTHLESS! Also, keep up to date because as soon as I get my first set of feedback, I'll begin working on a new chapter. 


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